I usually do not watch reality TV shows. However, there is one channel I love
to watch. I call this channel TLC or “The Lobby Channel.” You see, I live in a high
rise building and there is a view of the front lobby on Channel 59. It was originally
intended for security reasons to see who is buzzing you at the front door. I find it
to be the finest reality show that there is on TV. Real people, real drama, TLC!
I first came across TLC when I was flipping through the TV channels looking
to stumble upon something interesting to watch. All of a sudden, when I reached
Channel 59, a familiar sight came into view. First of all, it was in black and white
looking like an old classic movie scene. It could have been a scene from one of
Federico Fellini’s films. It took me a few seconds to clue in that it was a view from
the front lobby and not a 1950s movie. It was never officially announced to the
tenants that we were getting a “Lobby Channel.” So what a surprise!
The thing I like about this reality TV is that there is none of the humiliation and
embarrassment that the characters in this show have to go through unlike other
reality shows. I really cannot stand watching “The Bachelor” for this reason.
Watching some poor young girl crying after getting rejected is not my idea of great
entertainment. The same goes for “The Biggest Loser.” Watching some poor schlub
get humiliated because he only lost two pounds is equally pathetic entertainment.
You may ask why I waste my time watching people on “The Lobby Channel.” Or
you may think I am doing it to “passaru tempo” as the Calabrese expression goes
for “to pass the time.” Fair enough. It may seem like I am wasting my time but I
am, in effect, working. Being a professional actor, it is my job to watch people in
everyday situations. It is my business to know how different people behave in certain
situations. As an actor, it is my job to recreate reality. I must observe behaviour to
determine what is realistic. What better way then to watch “real” reality TV?
The fact that there is no sound to go with the picture makes it more interesting.
You cannot hear what people are saying but you get the jist of it by watching their
facial expressions and body language. I thought it would be neat if I recorded a
few hours of viewing and then edited the footage into a short film. I could voice all
the characters and add music and sound effects. For legal reasons I would have
to get everybody who appeared to sign a release. They would probably demand
outrageous salaries and my film would cost a fortune!
Believe it or not there is a regular cast of characters that appear on “The Lobby
Channel.” Starting off on a typical morning you get the typical morning characters.
There are the dog walkers that go for a morning relief walk. Most of the dogs seem
bright eyed and bushy tailed, happy to be going out at that time. There is one dog
however, who seems to be getting dragged out to go for a walk. I can just imagine
if that dog could talk he would say to the owner, “Aw come on man, give me a break
do we have to go out so early? I wanted to sleep in for another hour. Besides just
this once, can’t I pee in the toilet like you do?” Obviously, this person has never
heard the Calabrese expression, “Un rie quetananno i cani chi dormanu!” The
English translation is, “Let sleeping dogs lie!” Then there is the cleaning couple that
is there almost every morning. I call the wife “The Energizer Bunny” because she
just keeps on cleaning, and cleaning, and cleaning at a fast pace. There is a Chinese
grandmother who waits at the door for her daughter to drop off the grandson. It is
quite a touching scene to watch the cute little guy wave goodbye to his mother and
then go hand in hand with his grandmother. The little boy does not seem to mind
at all that his mother is leaving him. He is probably thinking, “Oh boy, mommy’s
gone. It time for grandma to give me some candy!” Then there are the mothers that
wait for the school bus with their young children. Each child is sent off to school
with some kind of sign of their mother’s love. It could be in the form of a peck on
the cheek or a carefully packaged lunch.
At the supper hour, all sorts of food delivery men start to show up. Sometimes
they all show up at the same time and scramble to use the entry intercom. The
pizza guy and the KFC guy both wait impatiently for the Chinese food guy to finish
using the entry intercom. One of these days, there is going to be a big “food fight”
at the door. Can you imagine pizza, chicken and Chinese food flying through the
air and landing all over the guys and the front entrance! Talk about a multicultural
food fight!
There are seasonal differences that are reflected in the goings on on “The Lobby
Channel.” In the summer you may get the odd woman dressed in a bikini coming in
from the outdoor pool. I guess modesty goes out the window in the intense heat! In
the Fall when Halloween comes around there is an odd assortment of fictional and
nonfictional characters that come through the door. I was working on the computer
once and had the TV on. To my surprise when I took a peek at the TV there was a
full sized Spiderman walking in the front door! Then they have the usual candy
give away in the lobby for all the kids in costumes. The costumes range from girls
in princess outfits to boys in pirate outfits. The winter time brings some heavily
bundled up people happy to come in from the winter cold.
The funny thing about “The Lobby Channel” is there are people that know that
they are on camera and people who either do not know or forget they are on camera.
There is a friendly older gentleman who lives in the building. Every time he goes by
he smiles and waves at the camera. Pretty friendly don’t you think? Some people
do not seem to know about the camera. There was a young blonde lady doing some
exotic dance moves with a group of her friends. There was this one guy who was
doing squats in front of the mirror and then stopped and looked around to see if
anybody was watching. Well, the viewers of “The Lobby Channel” were!
Regular people in regular situations are very interesting to watch. I can do
my observational work in the comfort of my own home. Who needs to go people
watching at the mall when you have “The Lobby Channel.” Real people, Real drama.
“The Lobby Channel!”
