Spring time is here and so is the start of wedding season. As the song goes, “Love is in the air/Everywhere I look around/Love is in the air/Every sight and every sound.” Italian weddings are a celebration of love. Certain elements make the wedding uniquely Italian. Traditions that started long ago in Italy are still present in the modern Italian wedding.

Before the actual marriage comes the engagement. Back in old time Italy, marriages were arranged by the families of the bride and groom. A male relative of the groom went to see the father or uncle of the bride to ask for her hand in marriage. Sometimes a matchmaker was used to send a message or “masciata” to the bride’s family of the man’s honourable intentions to marry the bride. The couples’ official engagement was announced once the families were in agreement.

Today we still have unofficial Italian “matchmakers” that operate without hesitation when there is a possible match up. This might be your “nonna” or grandmother or a concerned relative or neighbour. Of course, Italian parents still discuss marriage arrangements with other parents to get their children married off to each other. There is always an informal or formal meeting of the “boyfriend” with the parents of the prospective “bride.” There is also some sort of “agreement” reached between the groom’s parents and the bride’s parents before the engagement goes forth. The “serenade” is no longer popular as a form of marriage proposal. The groom might still use music in the form of dedicating a song on the radio to his bride as a token of love.

Diamond engagement rings were used by medieval Italians because it was believed that diamonds were made out of “the flames of love.” This was a rather romantic and poetic sentiment to say the least. The medieval Italians used precious stones as payment for the bride and so a diamond ring meant that the groom had a serious intent to marry. Today, the engagement ring is typically a diamond ring. The tradition of spending two to three month’s salary was probably started by a Canadian jewelry store and not related to Italian tradition. Although, it sure symbolizes a serious commitment!

The engagement party can be a simple at home affair or it can be a lavish affair held at a banquet hall. The bride wears a green dress because the colour green in Italian culture symbolizes hope and prosperity.

The bachelor or bachelorette party is more of a North American tradition. In Southern Italy these types of parties are not commonly held. It is kind of ironic to celebrate the last night of “freedom” since that implies that marriage is some how restrictive. The girls can go just as wild at a bachlorette party than the guys at a bachelor party!

On the wedding day, the bride is not supposed to wear any gold jewelry at all. This is until the wedding ring is presented to her at church. The wearing of gold is supposed to bring bad luck. Also the wearing of any other jewelry to thought to detract from the special value and symbol of love that the wedding ring represents.

According to Old Church traditions marriage was forbidden during lent and Advent. Marriage was also to be avoided in the months of May and August. May was reserved for the veneration of the Virgin Mary. August was thought to bring bad luck and poor health. Today, these traditions are somewhat observed. Modern Catholic Churches do not place a ban on marriage ceremonies for May or August. Italian banquet halls get booked up quickly and so you may have no choice to have a May or August wedding. I personally have been to an August wedding a number of years back. That couple is still together and apparently they got a special price deal from the banquet hall! Sunday marriages are thought to be the luckiest except during May and August. That may be so but modern Italian weddings usually take place on a Saturday which is when the wedding ceremony is usually performed at a church.

Old Italian folklore dictated that the groom carry a piece of iron on his wedding day to ward off the evil eye or “mal’occhio” because his happy situation might provoke envy and invite evil supernatural forces. I can imagine that an overly paranoid and neurotic groom might place a very heavy piece of iron in his pants’ pocket. That being the case, there lurks the strong possibility that his pants will fall down at the church because of the weight of the iron ore!

The tradition of a bride wearing a veil can be traced back to Italy and throughout other regions of Europe as well. The purpose of the veil is to conceal the bride. It is not as sometimes depicted in TV cartoons to hide the bride’s “funny looks” but rather her beauty. Of course, her beauty is bound to attract evil and jealous spirits so her face is hidden by the veil. The ironic thing about this is the fact that it is good luck for the veil to be torn. Maybe it is good luck that the groom gets a “sneak peak” at the bride’s good looks before he commits himself to the marriage!

The candy-covered almonds or “confetti” that is tossed at the couple is an Italian tradition to avoid childlessness. Today paper “confetti” is used. Although a lot of churches do not allow confetti to be thrown because it makes a mess out of the church steps for next couple that is next to be married.

At the reception the festivities are launched by the best man proposing a toast to the bride and groom. A common toast that is used is “Per cent’anni” which means “For a hundred years.” This wishes the couple a long marriage and long term good health.

All the men at the reception kiss the bride for good luck and supposedly to make the groom jealous. How is it good luck to make an Italian groom jealous? Good question since “Italian jealously” is known to be quite strong and may result in the groom inflicting a serious injury to one of the male guests! Oh well, the kissing of the bride is done with good intentions and should be taken that way by the groom .

In old tradition, the bride carried a satin bag or “la borsa” in which guests placed envelopes containing money or the “busta.” During the reception, before they had such a thing as a “Brinks guard” the purse was guarded by the bride’s grandmother or “nonna.” Or the mother of the bride, or other designated person would guard the “borsa.” In some weddings the bride would hold the bag and all the men that danced with her would put money into the “borsa.” In today’s modern Italian weddings some sort of decorated “money box” is used to collect the “bustas.” It is up to the couple to decide if a Brinks guard would be a tougher protector of the “money box” than an Italian “nonna!”

In some weddings, particularly in Northern Italy there is the tradition of the best man cutting the groom’s tie into little pieces. The pieces are then put on a tray and sold to the guests. The money raised by this helps to pay for the band. In modern day, the groom usually wears a rental tie that he received with his rental tuxedo. It is recommended that the groom bring an inexpensive tie in anticipation of this custom. Otherwise, the groom will end up paying for the tuxedo tie!

Italian weddings have traditionally been known to have good food and plenty of it as the focal point of the festivities. Dinner can be as many as fourteen different courses or more. This tradition is still very popular today with many banquet halls competing for the lucrative Italian wedding business. Twists of fried dough, powdered with sugar called bow ties or “wanda” are served as symbols of good luck.

Music and dancing are also an important part of any Italian wedding. The traditional tarantella dance comes from the legend that a woman that was bitten by a poisonous tarantula could be cured by dancing at the proper tempo. Although this dance originated in Southern Italy, different regions in Italy use slightly different music for the tarantella but the melodies are similar. The guests form a circle and begin dancing clockwise. The tempo changes and the circle speeds up and changes direction going faster and faster until all the guests break up at the laughing and confusion!

Italy is the place of origin for the custom of handing out candied almonds. The candied almonds are meant to represent the sweet and bitter aspects of life. The candies are wrapped in netting and tied to a something like a glass dish as a wedding favor or “bomboniera.” We gave out small picture frames at our wedding so that the guests would have something useful to use after the wedding.

Another old wedding tradition is for the bride and groom to break a glass or a vase before going to bed. Apparently the number of pieces that the vase or glass breaks into symbolizes the number of happy years of marriage that the couple can expect to enjoy. One hopes that they do not try to break something made out of shatterproof glass!

Along with old traditions and new traditions do not be afraid to start your own unique tradition. After all, it is your wedding and you have the right to personalize it in a special way. To all of you that are getting married this wedding season, here is wishing you all the best! Viva le sposi!