Yes Virginia, this year is going to be different. A new year - and with it, the opportunity to incorporate positive changes into our lives. Out with the old and in with the new has become my new mantra. The making of the New Year’s resolution has been around for centuries and according to some dismal statistics, humans barely maintain their resolutions past the third week of the New Year. In order to break from that dismal tradition, this reporter has decided to compile a list of “intentions” versus “resolutions” in the hopes of really following through on them this year.

I never did find the time to mail out last year’s Christmas cards. No time like the present for a trip to the post office. Those cross-country skis that have been sitting on the porch since last winter are just begging to be taken out into an open field on a mild day, maybe this weekend the forecast will be plus 5. I don’t like to do anything outdoors unless it’s above 5 degrees. The circulation in my feet is that of a 90 year old.

I’ve always wanted to be a blood donor. Might as well share this Italian blood with the world. Maybe I’ll go to the next blood donor clinic. I don’t really like needles though, and I do have poor circulation. I’ll have to think about that one.

I’d really like to tackle writing another book. Perhaps a sequel to the first book, but first, I should really focus on promoting that first book. I guess I could start the second book, or should I wait until the family is talking to me again. I keep telling them the first book is a work of fiction. Going to the gym sounds like a great idea, especially after all of the holiday Italian dinners. According to my low-rise jeans, I should no longer be wearing low-rise jeans. Of course, walking around the block is free and I wouldn’t have to pay for parking or gas.

I suppose I have no choice but to stop chatting on the cell phone while I’m driving since that is now the law, and the next resolution on my list is to stop breaking the law.

I really want to attempt to spend more time with my parents and stop tattle tailing on my sisters, but after the annual big fat Italian family Christmas fiasco dinners, lunches, indigestion and guilt, I really and truly don’t want to spend more time with my parents and I am certain I will never stop tattle tailing on my sisters.

I know I want to stop impulse shopping, especially since the doctor warned the husband about his high blood pressure, high cholesterol and bulging vein in his right temple whenever I even mention the words Winner’s or Home Sense. I will definitely try to not bring home any more art deco lamps, black and white animal print rugs, or zebra-striped furniture.

On that note, I vow to put an end to using plastic and will implement a cash-only lifestyle. Does this mean I have to revert to essential purchases only such as food and fuel? I just don’t see the fun in that.

Attending church regularly has been on my list of resolutions for the past decade. I suppose this is where waking up earlier would come into play. Perhaps I could group some resolutions together like spending time with my parents by taking them to church on Sunday – there’s no way I can get scolded while we’re in church is there?

I would love to return to a daily yoga regime. It has been about five years since I took a yoga class, and I think Madonna is still doing yoga and she looks darn good for 50-something.

Eating less chocolate, drinking more water, scraping the dead skin off the old elbows and heels, and pushing back the cuticles sounds like a plan, however, what good could ever come out of eating less chocolate. That one is will be scratched off the list for sure.

According to Martha Stewart, I should break out the good china and crystal as often as possible. Being married to an Italian I break the good china and crystal as often as possible. On that note, practicing patience would be a good plan, as well as easing up on the car horn. Ironing the mountain of ironing while watching a sexy foreign film with English subtitles sounds perfectly productive.

In lieu of the abscessed molar and root canal, I vow to stop eating chocolate at bedtime, after the flossing routine. One must eat chocolate first, floss later.

Breaking open the 2010 calendar and appointment book could really help with those missed family birthdays and doctor’s appointments. Could starting to wear a watch and purchasing a clock for the hallway lead to a life of punctuality? There’s just no telling where all of these resolutions might lead. Could 2010 really be the year of organization in my disheveled life? Could organization take priority over my love of Italian leathers and frivolous spending? Perhaps this will be the year I will finally declutter, get into shape, cook the husband a decent meal, clean the gutters, vacuum the lampshades, prepare tax season before March 30th, buy a filing cabinet, locate the key to the mailbox, visit the mailbox daily, and last but not least, finally make those Italian parents proud.